#1

I am a mythological creature.   You've heard about my kind in the news a lot lately.  I am a healthy fat person.  I am around 330 lbs, female and 30 years old.   I have no symptoms of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, arthritis, or sleep apnea.   However, this can change, so I'm changing my life.

Six months ago I started a new plan.   Get over my fear of the sweaty fat girl stereotype and get my bum to a gym.  Now, I'm addicted.  I work out with a trainer, Cassandra from Tekniques Fitness, at least twice a week, and I'm starting to pick up bootcamp sessions as well.   Two years ago when my sister started going to bootcamps I thought to myself "Never, not ever, will I be able to keep up with a bootcamp"  And three sessions in, I'm not exactly keeping up (push ups are kicking my ass), but I'm holding my own, which is more than I expected.

 I had a Non-Scale Victory (NSV) today.  I realized while I was trying to watch my neighbour's dog run rampant around my living room that I could turn around and see the back of my knees, even a bit up my thighs.   This doesn't sound like much but I don't think I've ever see the back of my knee without the assistance of a mirror.   As a child I was so excited at the prospect of growing, getting taller, reaching the branches of trees that other kids would climb with ease, and now, as an adult my joy comes from fleeting glimpses of my smaller self.

I have no idea what my goals are.   They aren't set in stone.  I'd like to be smaller, taking myself from a size 26 (where I started) and maybe find myself in a 14/16 and see how I feel there.   The goal is not the size, but the feeling.  Here I'll be covering my workouts, my bootcamp adventures, and the changes that are going on in my brain.   There may be photos.  They may be sweaty gross gross.  But I'm going to put it all out there.  Brutal Honesty.